I love you???

What is Love???

Is it a feeling or Passion or Attraction or Attachment or Addiction?

And if these means love then why do a relation which had promised to be together forever breaks?? Why do a child and their parents get separated?

I did a small survey by asking on Instagram story that “What actually love is?” to which I got following answers:-

•     “Love means Friendship”- If love really means friendship then why there comes a time when these friendship gets weakened or over? Even if we love our parents then why do we hide something from them because if this really is love then parents are our friends and in friend sharing comes first?
•    “Love comes when we are passionate about something”- If love means passion then the criminals who kill other people or rape is considered as love as they are most passionate in pursuing that thing.
•  “Love is when someone’s happiness becomes our happiness”- According to this when your loved one is happy smoking regularly then that smoking becomes your happiness too as it satisfies the above statement and rather than stopping him from killing himself, you will help him in killing by not objecting.
•  “Love means attachment”- But if love really means attachment then in our regular life, we get attach with many persons and sometimes that attachment lasts only for hours then can we consider that as love?
•    “Love means Attraction beyond limit”- We all sometimes get attracted to many wrong things like alcohol or money or any such thing and getting attracted to these beyond limit wont it result to addiction? So is love addiction?

Don’t you think that we all have interpreted love in a wrong way and took every relationship thinking accordingly? We all have seen many relationships getting apart around us, we all have also seen 2 friends breaking their friendships because of lack of trust or ego clashes or any such thing, we all have seen a child getting separated from parents to get freedom or vice-versa.

Even after seeing all these we never have tried to give a thought that why these all takes place or what actually is the basic reason for all these break-ups.

Many times it happens that we say that there is love between us but we just say it and not mean it like for example-

• We all say that we love our country but raise a question against it that do we really love it?? If we would love our country, we won’t be getting involved in corruption activities or bribes. We would be following each and every traffic rule that is made for us by the government and also would always be trying to keep our roads clean. Here we all know that most of us dont follow one thing or another amongst the mentioned one, so can we say that we love our country??

Now to know what exactly is love, we need to first seek in our own selves and try to point out the things like-

• Do we try to keep our selves safe by any means possible?
• Do we try to satisfy all our needs and desires?
• Do we try to earn to that extent to be yourselves rich and make your own name?
• Do we try to make our point correct in front of our loved ones just to see your ego getting satisfied?

All the things mentioned above are known as self-motives which we always try to do and for most of us these are the aims that are to be completed.

When we are able to ignore these kind of self-motives for a person or a family or groups and try to adjust according to their likes and dislikes that is when we can call it love.

All the above things that I said are usually our desires and these desires make us do what they want and for that makes us go to any extend. But when we are able to control these desire for someone else with zero conditions will make us lead to love.

Let’s understand this by an example-

• When a child asks his father to stop his drinking/smoking habit, that father will always try to follow it because it was the demand of his child and as he loves his child he will try to control his desire by any means but if the same thing is told by any of his friends that won’t affect him much because in that case his desire is more bounded with him than his friend.   

So we can clearly understand from above example that when we start thinking of some other person before we think for our own selves leads to love.

What keeps us away from adjusting is the ego that wants us to stick with our desire rather than with our loved ones and that’s one of the reasons why some marriages fail or child leaves his parents or vice-versa like for example-

• A child who keeps his parents in an old-age home as the city or the country in which he lives, his parents are not able to settle and he is able to earn more there only, has the desire of earning more rather than living with his parents and so the love for his parents is faded away by the desire which resists him from adjusting. And on the other side there is only love by the parents for that child which makes them even ready to adjust themselves to live in an old-age home keeping away their own desires.      

One more thing that is being understood in a wrong way about love is that love brings expectations. But the reality is that there is no place for expectations in love. When expectations arises between 2 persons who love each other, there is always something wrong done by a person which brought expectations in the other person or some kind of behavioural change is noticed by the other person which gave rise to expectations.

So we can say that if we really start loving everyone in the above mentioned way, there wont be any existence of hatred and all will not just start living their life but will start feeling their life because where there is true love, there is no space for separation.